I was surfing the web and reading blogs until I dozed off at the laptop. Fret not, it wasn't because your blog was that boring (even if it were, I won't tell you!). I just had a bit too much wine at dinner earlier.Sometimes we asked ourselves why do people get drunk and often than not the answer is merely a mirror away. We or rather I drink to get that high, to chase that buzz or simply put to experience that "happy feeling". However, the line separating buzz and drunk is so thin that it is easily breached in the split of a second. As a result, we often find ourselves doing idiotic things and saying stupid stuff. If nobody got hurt, then it's fine. Otherwise, the hurt can be very damaging and permanent.
I believe drunks can be grouped into 5 categories.
1) The Fighter
Most likely a guy in this group. He becomes aggressive and violent. Suddenly, the alcohol effect charges up his male ego bravado and getting into fights or starting to throw/break things are not uncommon. Suddenly, the whole world is his enemy and worse, he thinks he is invincible. Problem is that somebody, be it himself or others will get hurt. Sometimes it may take 3 or 4 of us to pin him down to the ground. The ultimate loser is himself as the people around him will start to siam far far away and think of him as a lesser person after that night. Unless of course, the people were his good "brothers" to begin with, of which he is a lesser person since day 1.
I have seen girls, although rare, in this category too but if she small small petite petite, I will just go grab her, sling her over my shoulder, kicking, screaming and scratching, and take her home before she embarrass herself further. If she damn tua jiak, than I siam one corner liao... arh bor she will go grab me, sling me over her shoulder, kicking, screaming and scratching, and take me home before I embarrass myself further.
Sigh....
2) The Blabber.
At first, he may be the quiet quiet guy in the group but once the alcohol kick in, everything also come out from the mouth and I don't mean the puke. Usually, this can be quite funny but if the fella is spouting nonsensical stuff or even slurring... then no fun liao. I ever encountered this guy, Meng, who was drunk but able to walk on his own after partying to go for prata supper. Suddenly Meng decided to just stand up from the table and start practicing his WuShu.
We were so embarrassed when the whole kopitiam was staring at us in disbelief.
We couldn't get him to stop as we were afraid of the accidental punch/kick/body slam/suplex/etc. After all, this guy knew his martial arts. As he was going through his routine with commentary(!), he explains that he was trying to exercise his "qi" in order to "curb" the alcohol. *face palm*.
Naturally, the next morning, he was all sheepish about the night before.
3) The Confessor
This type by far causes the most damage when drunk. I was here on a few occasions which I am not proud of. You will have to agree that in society, be it at work or elsewhere, we put on a mask to face the world and show what we want people to see. The problem in this category is that alcohol has the ability of unmasking you without you knowing it. With inhibition thrown out of the window, the truth comes out. And sometimes, the truth hurts. It really hurts.
What came out of my mouth was my heart speaking and it certainly didn't go down too well with a lot of people. Many were offended. This is a real pickle here when you have to apologise to the offended party for telling the honest truth. The question is, how do you apologise to people for not lying? It is like "Oh, I am sorry, I was honest with you last night. I should have lied instead."
See the problem there?
Well, the last time, I landed in this predicament was 8 years ago. Damage was still unrepairable at some places with some people till this very day.
4) The Bawler
No matter how strong the man is, tears flow freely when this guy falls into this category. Sobbing uncontrollably would have been a more apt description. While many would associate crying with that of the female gender, I have personally encountered more men bawling their eyes out than women when drunk.
The last most memorable incident was during my University Ball where a good junior of mine, Zhen, decided that the Ball was the perfect opportunity to profess his love for this girl. Perhaps, he was thinking that with him in the tuxedo and she in the gown, what better moment to "let it all out" under the romantic mood lighting of the ball room (and perhaps get lucky later in a room that he had earlier reserved?)?
What he didn't expect was that not only did she say "No", she negate his advances by introducing her newly found boyfriend to him. The devastation of was too much for Zhen that night for not only because he was rejected but the fact he was rejected in front of everybody. Zhen, being an pretty egoistical person, lost more face than he could afford that night and it was no surprise that he drank himself stupid that night.
He cried and cried and cried. Sigh.... a perfect good tux ruined that night.
5) The Sleeper.
This is where I find myself most of the time. Unconscious with the occasional *SNORT*. People may say that this is by far the best of the 5 groups but let me warn you of the disadvantage of this category. If you are among friends, then you are safe. If not, who knows what the people around you are going to do to you?
I am not sure if anyone remember a case in Zouk many years ago. A lawyer (guy) passed out drunk only to wake up on his bed with some other guy's head bobbing up and down below him. The latter was charged and jailed but imagine the psychological damage inflicted on the poor guy for life.
Here's the strange thing. Dozing off is something very common for me when it comes to wine, champagne and beer. Despite the higher alcohol content, I am perfectly fine with spirits like Vodka, Rum, Gin, Whiskey or even a teh-tarik of all of the above.
I supposed what I want to say here is that we should all drink within our limits. If 2 drinks is all you can tahan, then so be it. If you know that he/she can only take 2 drinks, then for f*ck's sake, get off his/her back about it. Unless he/she is an asshole that deserves to be pumped jialat jialat, then I would gladly make an exception.
Well, easier said than done, as we do get carried away sometimes as we egged or kena egged into drinking ourselves into a messy drunken stupor.
Oh well, I guess taking the cab back would have been the last saving consolation. Please put your car keys behind if you are going to be drinking heavily.
- Voxeros
1. Mad One left...
This kind will drink drink drink, then puke to empty the stomach. drink drink drink somemore and puke to empty the stomach and drink drink...
The only time they stop is when 1. They ran out of money to buy more beer. 2. The bar is closing. 3. The bar ran out of supply. 4. He puke his stomach out.
Tuesday, 11 October 2005 7:44 pm
You forgot one more, The Merlion. This kind will drink drink drink, then puke to empty the stomach. drink drink drink somemore and puke to empty the stomach and drink drink...
The only time they stop is when 1. They ran out of money to buy more beer. 2. The bar is closing. 3. The bar ran out of supply. 4. He puke his stomach out.
2. Lynne left...
Tuesday, 11 October 2005 9:01 pm
I was once the Confessor and the Bawler all rolled into one, so "pai seh"! Since then, I've never gotten myself into that situation anymore. Never drink when one is depressed, doesn't do the body any good ... 3. JayWalk left...
I knew of this guy who did the Merlion in his sleep. By the time he wakes up in the morning, his puke as harden onto his face into some kind of a facial mask. It was a kangkong mask. I'd bet it did his complexion a lot of good. :P
Lynne: You did??!! OH pray tell!!!
Pretty please? :P
Tuesday, 11 October 2005 9:55 pm :: http://voxeros.blog-city.com
Mad One: No actually. I was focusing more on behavior here. Each one of these 5 categories can perform the Merlion.I knew of this guy who did the Merlion in his sleep. By the time he wakes up in the morning, his puke as harden onto his face into some kind of a facial mask. It was a kangkong mask. I'd bet it did his complexion a lot of good. :P
Lynne: You did??!! OH pray tell!!!
Pretty please? :P
4. lancerlord left...
Wednesday, 12 October 2005 12:13 am :: http://lancerlord.blogspot.com
Hee hee. I am the sleeper type. Diam diam (quietly) KO one. 5. milktea left...
Wednesday, 12 October 2005 12:50 am
i'm definitely the confessor. though I'd imagine I can be the blabber too. 6. Jaslyn left...
Wednesday, 12 October 2005 2:30 am :: http://precious-jas.blogspot.com
When i get high..I feel damn slpy one..then my eyes feel heavy and i wanna slp..hahaha 7. JayWalk left...
milktea: Makes me wonder what was the last thing you "confessed"? *kaypoh*
Jaslyn: Re: Lancerlord. I think you also getting old liao... auntie! wahahahaha.....
Wednesday, 12 October 2005 8:58 am ::
lancerlord: Same here. You think it has anything with getting old?milktea: Makes me wonder what was the last thing you "confessed"? *kaypoh*
Jaslyn: Re: Lancerlord. I think you also getting old liao... auntie! wahahahaha.....
8. vanna left...
i simply love this post...
fabulous..
by the way, thanks again for making me laff.. :)
Wednesday, 12 October 2005 9:30 am
wat an apt description of all.. i simply love this post...
fabulous..
by the way, thanks again for making me laff.. :)
9. Sheena left...
Wednesday, 12 October 2005 12:45 pm
I don't know which I am because believe it or not, I've never gotten drunk. High, yes, but not drunk. 10. mihuatang left...
sad sh1t!
Wednesday, 12 October 2005 2:44 pm
dinner cum drinking sessions are pretty common in china. after the session, when you get back to your hotel room and starting to puke besides the toilet bowl, you get this lousy feeling of 'what the fuck, why am i doing this', 人家出钱我出命, and a feeling of loneliness will engulf you. you'll miss home, you'll miss your love ones. sad sh1t!
11. JayWalk left... Vanna: You're most welcome. Glad you enjoyed this piece.
Sheena: I think you never drink enough to pass the threshold. Well either that or you have a big capacity for alcohol. Whichever it is, it is good that you didn't go there. Not an enjoyable place to be.
mihuatang: I know exactly what you are talking about. Especially when the 白酒 stink so bad. Just when you thought the puke itself smells bad enough, add the stink of the 白酒 to that. Yeeeewwwwww!!!
Sheena: I think you never drink enough to pass the threshold. Well either that or you have a big capacity for alcohol. Whichever it is, it is good that you didn't go there. Not an enjoyable place to be.
mihuatang: I know exactly what you are talking about. Especially when the 白酒 stink so bad. Just when you thought the puke itself smells bad enough, add the stink of the 白酒 to that. Yeeeewwwwww!!!
12. ahdokboy left...
Wednesday, 12 October 2005 9:52 pm
well i can't say anything for myself. Vodka, rum, gin and whiskey sound like army codewords to me - i havent tried one before, let alone stepped into a club! Let's just say that my greatest indulgence was the time where i tried to explore the taste of Heineken, only to have my little girlfriend snatch it away from me with a disapproving look. 13. JayWalk left...
Have fun.
Wednesday, 12 October 2005 10:04 pm ::
ahdokboy: Don't worry. Your time will come. For most guys, NS is about the time we started our partying, regardless of gf's approval. Regardless. Have fun.
14. akk left...
Thursday, 13 October 2005 12:58 pm
hmm...dun know what cat i'm. since the frens who drink aren't that particularly close, I really don't dare to get drunk. added to that, my best fren holds her drink worse than me...-__-|| 15. JayWalk left...
Hmm.... can ask your best friend out for a drink? wahahaha...... :P
Thursday, 13 October 2005 1:43 pm ::
akk: It is not like we drink to intentionally get drunk. Most of the time, is an error of judgement and cross the line unwittingly. Hmm.... can ask your best friend out for a drink? wahahaha...... :P
16. nadnut left...
Thursday, 13 October 2005 5:32 pm :: http://nadnut.blogspot.com
hahaaha. im usually the fighter or the bawler... hahahahaa. 17. JayWalk left... nadnut: You are quite the chilli padi, aren't you? Petite petite but packed a helluva punch.
Hmm... I probably sling you over my shoulder and take you home too. :P
Hmm... I probably sling you over my shoulder and take you home too. :P
18. akk left...
jay: typical typical.....OK, i'll see if my best fren free...
Thursday, 13 October 2005 11:38 pm
to nadnut: hahahaahah....u had that classic jay comment coming ur way siah... jay: typical typical.....OK, i'll see if my best fren free...
19. JayWalk left...
Better get her to the blog here to have her mentally prepared!!! wahahahaha.....
Friday, 14 October 2005 2:07 am ::
akk: Hahahaha... lai lai... the more the merrier! Better get her to the blog here to have her mentally prepared!!! wahahahaha.....
20. nadnut left...
for wat? be ur maid ah? LOL
Friday, 14 October 2005 5:34 pm :: http://nadnut.blogspot.com
i not petite. i fat!!! hahahaaa. take me home? o.O for wat? be ur maid ah? LOL
21. JayWalk left...
Friday, 14 October 2005 5:48 pm ::
Nadnut: Take you back to YOUR home lah... what were you thinking? -_-"
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